Invisible Loyalties av Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy

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First published in 1984. This book was written in order to share the authors'' experience as family therapists not only with professionals but with families. We live in an age of anxiety, fear of violence and questioning of fundamental values. Confidence in traditional values is being challenged. Waves of prejudice seem to endanger our trust in one another and our loyalty to society. The strength of family relations or their effect on individuals is extremely difficult to measure. The authors of this book believe that observable changes in the family do not necessarily alter the member to- member impact of family relationships. Invisible loyalty commitments to one''s family follow paradoxical laws: The martyr who doesn''t let other family members work off their guilt is a far more powerfully controlling force than the loud, demanding bully. The manifestly rebellious or delinquent child may actually be the most loyal member of a family.